In my line of work I see many tweens and teens everyday. (I know...who in their right mind would let me around their kids? It’s cool- I have a split personality) And I just wanna throw this out there to their over-protective and “involved” parents: WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN YOUR CHUNKY TEENAGER PUT ON THOSE BUSTED ASS SKINNY JEANS WITH HER BUTT CRACK HANGING OUT? Not only should these girls’ parents be fined, they should be helping their kids pick better friends. Obviously, if your BFF tells you that your size 12 ass (and don’t think I’m a hater - I haven’t seen a single digit size since I had a single digit age) looks “totally awesome” in those jeans from Forever 21, then she fucking hates you and wants to steal your boyfriend. Not that you could even GET a boyfriend if you’re wearing demon denim. Take note: This friend rule typically goes for us more “experienced” females as well. And we didn’t get experienced from wearing fucking skinny jeans (too hard to take off).
Skinny jeans are obscene. Let me solve this fucking atrocity: these sausage casings should not be made in sizes larger than a 4 -or maybe even a 2. Dear designers- Just because there are people out in this world that will buy tacky, ill-fitting clothing does not mean that you should make it. Now that that’s off my chest, Imma go slip into my stretch denim boot cuts and drink a cosmo (or four).
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